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Bill Quinn
Romantic Marriage Stories
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 1 
 on: December 18, 2011, 07:59:42 PM 
Started by PartyDelights - Last post by PartyDelights
Waiting for marriage to engage in sexual intimacies is a challenge for my wife and I. This is because both of us were in our mid 20's (me 26, she 25) before we began courtship.

Prior to that, we did not have any sexual encounters nor any serious friends of the opposite sex.

As Christians, we believe that it was God's arrangement that only married couples should engage in sexual activities.

On top of that, living in our part of the world serves to give us added "protection". This is because that time (about 20 years ago), Internet was not common and traditionally, our lands held on to beliefs that sex belonged only to married persons. In fact, it was easy to find virgin friends than non-virgin ones.

With these two factors, we managed to remain chaste until our wedding day.

Our wedding was simple.

Getting ready to be wed for myself was easy. Just bathe and then dressed up like my usual "business attire" and I'm good to go.

But for my wife-to-be, a Christian friend who is a makeover artist, spent what seem to me like hours (though not that long) to make her up. Thereafter, she was dressed in the silky gown we bought just for that special day.

After that, together with two friends who will serve as witnesses, we went to the Registry of Marriage and officially register our marriage. We were lucky to be the second in queue and hence the entire registration process ended around 9:30am.

Thereafter, we met friends and relatives for a simple lunch reception with a wedding talk given us.
We recorded the talk, but too bad, the tape technology cannot last with time and it was lost through mold infection.

Nevertheless, I remembered the basic principles: Role of man as the head of a family, to lead in love after the model of Christ and an example to both the wife and children to come. Role of woman as Support to the family, may have to sacrifice personal likings to accommodate the husband's decisions. And of course, in the event of dispute, allow the Bible to be the final Authority and thus resolve problems in a Christ-like manner.

Thereafter, with blessings from friends and relatives, we waved good-bye and drove off to our "honeymoon suite" at around 2:30pm, arriving around 3pm.

We were very excited to find ourselves alone and we both knew what was about to happen.

But to be honest, that being our first time, was a complete disaster. It was nothing like what many Internet "first-time" I read recently.

I knew we were having sex, but the expectation was completely different from what I imagined. As a result, for many years, I thought I did not really penetrated her. It was until few months ago that we discussed our first night again that my wife assured me I did penetrated. She convinced me by mentioning the blood patch on the bed that embarrassed both of us in the morning after.
(But to save my male ego, she told me that was a wonderful first-time...  Cheesy)

Well, the first time was short. Very short to few minutes.

So we tried again 30 minutes later.
It felt "much better" for me. I assume it was good-enough for her also, as we both briefly doze off after that....  Grin

We woke around 5pm.
We showered and then went out to the pool side and enjoy the evening view, and then a sumptuous dinner by the sea.

We were still shy from our "firsts" and talk about anything but sex.

Night fell. Around 8:00pm, we returned to the bedroom.
We unwrapped the gifts from the morning and started packing them.
We then discussed our plans for the next few days, where we'll "honeymooned" in my part of the world 1000km away from hers.

Then, we both "lost" the memory of what happened after unwrapping the gifts.
I vaguely remembered we had intercourse one more time before "really" going to bed.
So I assume it was the best of our first three episodes, because we were so satisfied, so contented that we slept straight through till morn.  Cool

Well, before our eyes were fully opened, we did our forth.  Cheesy Wink

We knew we did not have much time, so we showered, then went for our breakfast. (We got complimentary breakfast, to be consumed before 10:30am.)

I could not remember what the breakfast was like. But I'm sure I was a completely contented man that morning. Again, we were shy to talk about sex on breakfast table. Compared to today, we definitely need to work on communication skills in that arena. But that was the past and I was not complaining.  Wink

Well, to make many "jealous", after breakfast, we return to our "honeymoon suite" and prepared to check out. Since I do not have much clothing (hey... a pun here....) packing was fast as it involves only the attires of my wife. And of course, before the check-out, we "check-in" again, consummating for the fifth time within 24 hours.  Grin

Looking back, after 15 years into our marriage, we both giggled at our "first time" or "times".
Although not the best ever (in fact the worst ever), we had no regrets to remain chaste until married.

It was wonderful to know there was no another to compare standard except by ours. (In movie "Liar Liar" -- "I had better....") This foster our relationship very much.

In addition, progressing together in our little "sexuality venture" is a wonderful experience. Though it took us 5 years to became "amateurs", another 5 years to became "professional" in (reverse) Missionary, and another 3+ years to venture into rear entry, oral and such, there is simply no regrets. In fact, learning together and able to be on par in sexuality further foster our marriage bonds.

So our encouragement to younger Christians desiring to remain virgins until marriage is: persist on. Failure in first-time sex attempts is one of many failures worth having. And there is added wonders to explore sex together as married couples through the years.

As a proof of our "success", we now parented 5 kids, all raised beautifully under the Lord's care.

May you likewise receive happiness by following what our Lord admonishes. Amen.



 2 
 on: December 18, 2011, 06:32:15 PM 
Started by PartyDelights - Last post by PartyDelights
I noticed today, there are many new standards regarding morality, particularly on sex before marriage.

Personally, I belong to the "traditional" type, preferring couples to remain chaste before marriage, and give of their virginity to their spouse only after the wedding vow.

I raise this thread in hope those who belong to the same "traditional" type as me to share their views on this topic.

For those who remained chaste, tell us how you overcome the "temptation", and if you are willing, tell us how "bad" the first time was and whether it was worth waiting, from a long term point of view.

For those who do not wait, tell us why you break from your traditional views. Also, tell us if you'll do it differently if given another opportunity to choose.

Finally, what will you advice young couples to do.
Personally, I'm a Christian and would hope your comments can encourage young Christians to live chaste life before marriage.

(I'll post my own story next)

 3 
 on: December 18, 2011, 05:24:29 PM 
Started by Bill Quinn - Last post by Bill Quinn
Want to make your marriage sexier and more romantic? Have any questions or problems in the area of romance and sex? Here's the place to raise them. This is also the place where happy, romantic couples can share their own insights in order to help others. Let's hear from you soon!

 4 
 on: December 18, 2011, 05:18:47 PM 
Started by Bill Quinn - Last post by Bill Quinn
Your happiness and excitement can be shared with others. Many couples will feel your joy and be inspired to make their own marriages more romantic. New marriages can certainly breathe new romantic life into older marriages. Please join in the discussions.

Bill Quinn
Romantic Marriage Stories

 5 
 on: August 02, 2010, 10:18:55 PM 
Started by Geoff_Hayes - Last post by Geoff_Hayes
I revisited the 'Premarital Counseling' story to view the manner in which Lauri & Terry addressed the subject of emotional needs and desires in that story's setting.

As a man I identify strongly with the concept of a 'Love Bank' into which a married couple make deposits.

When a couple marry, they both promise to care for each other. But they have to learn to care for each other the right way, or that love for each other has the potential to diminish.
 
To care for each other the right way, they must learn to make large 'Love Bank' deposits through to meeting each other's most important emotional needs and desires.
 
This is an aspect that I felt is missing from that 'Premarital Counseling' story... a comment about emotional needs... and the fact that these needs are seldom created equally.

When some needs are met, one may only feel comfortable.. they make small 'Love Bank' deposits. There are others, however, that can make one feel euphoric... being the largest 'Love Bank' deposits of all.

Emotional needs could be: love; respect; trust; commitment; admiration; affection; companionship; honesty and openness; meaningful conversation; household support; financial support; empathy; sexual fulfillment.
 
Everyone is unique. The hierarchy of a woman's emotional needs and desires will likely be the reverse of her husband's emotional needs.

A man and a woman embark on married life with the expectation that their emotional needs and desires will be met throughout that marriage.
 
Therefore it is important for each individual to identify the hierarchy of his/her partner's emotional needs and desires from the outset of their relationship. Once those needs and desires are identified, he/she can set about the task of learning how to meet those requirements.... how to make the largest deposits possible into that marriage's 'Love Bank'.


 6 
 on: July 19, 2010, 03:02:44 PM 
Started by Geoff_Hayes - Last post by RavagedbyHisLove
Hello, Geoff.

Thank you for sharing about your elder son's wedding.  As I read what the officiant shared, I commended the challenge made to the bride and groom to make a commitment to LOVE.  It is a choice, one that needs to be re-affirmed daily.  Love IS a choice!

However, I had some real difficulty in the first paragraph of the officiant's wedding service comments, aligning it to what the Bible has to say about love between husband and wife.

Here is what the officiant said:

Quote
Marriage is not a romantic ride. Forget romance. Romance is for courtship and dating, and in the days of arranged marriages, it was also for extra-marital affairs. Romance novels end with the couple getting married. Or at least they used to. Now days they end with the couple hopping into bed. But the moral of the story is the same either way - that's the end of romance. Forget romance. That's behind you.

I absolutely DO agree that love is deeper than romance.  Romance is experienced continually during the wooing period of pre-marital dating.  And, it certainly does not insure a successful relationship.  But, listen to what Exphesians 5:25-33 says:

Quote
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it (love sacrificially, to the point of death);... So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies (love wife and cherish her as much as you take care of your own body and needs).  He that loveth his wife loveth himself.  For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:... Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

As I read the above passage, we are reminded that God created the man and the woman distinctly different in their needs.  The wife needs to feel cherished and adored, while the husband needs to feel reverenced and respected.  It is a shame that we understand each other so little that we have to be reminded in the Bible to respect our husbands and to cherish our wives.

Ok, so our wives need to be cherished and adored.  What does that mean?  I believe it means ROMANCE!  (Just as a thought, ask ANY wife if she would love for her husband to "romance" her.  I would imagine that you would be hard-pressed to find even ONE that didn't want this re-affirmation of her husband's love and adoration!)

I have been reading the Song of Solomon in the Bible recently.  It is the most romantic and erotic book imaginable.  It was written partially by King Solomon and partly by his Shulamite bride.  It speaks of adoring each other and sexual intimacy (Song of Solomon 2:3, believed by most teachers of the Bible to refer to oral sex), being brought to the banqueting house with a love banner (Song of Solomon 2:4), speaking to wives about how loved, cherished and adored they are (Song of Solomon 4:9).  Solomon tells his wife how fragrant she smells (S of S 4:10) and she speaks of his bodily attractiveness (S of S, chapter 5).  But, even more... in chapter 3, it tells of Solomon's Shulamite bride pursuing him.  This is the most romantic book EVER written!

There is a website called Romance Between the Lines (romancebetweenthelines.com) that truly grasps the concept of ROMANCE WITHIN MARRIAGE.  Even their opening paragraphs of the website give proper place to romance within the context of marriage.  (How many marriages have failed because each spouse doesn't take the time to plan romance that makes each other feel cherished?!)

I agree with the pastor's comments about LOVE being priority in growing a marriage.  To my understanding, however, romance is a by-product of REAL love within marriage.   I believe that even God proves romance is important.  After all the greatest love letter ever written is called The Bible, which is God's romantic love letter to us!

 

 7 
 on: July 15, 2010, 06:58:24 PM 
Started by Geoff_Hayes - Last post by djohnson
Hmmm truly interesting. I j hadnt thought of marriage quite that way.  Gives me food for thought.  There are times we dont  go to bed together b ut when the other does come to bed whether it be him or me, the one thats already in bed  snuggles next to the one just coming to bed.

But this post does give me ood for thought. Thanks

* wanders off to contimplate what was just read



 8 
 on: July 15, 2010, 06:51:38 PM 
Started by JesusandWe2 - Last post by djohnson
Hey there Jesusandwe2 And bill of course, how are you? Sorry i have been absent for so long been working on a  few things.  Like writing stories for the the site site . I will try to  be around more Nice meeting you

 9 
 on: July 13, 2010, 03:03:35 AM 
Started by Geoff_Hayes - Last post by Geoff_Hayes
I was in for a pleasant surprise when I attended the marriage of my elder son at St Peter's Lutheran Church, Hobart Tasmania, Australia.

Here is an extract from the marriage service delivered on this occasion by Pastor Ben Mogg:


"Marriage is not a romantic ride. Forget romance. Romance is for courtship and dating, and in the days of arranged marriages, it was also for extra-marital affairs. Romance novels end with the couple getting married. Or at least they used to. Now days they end with the couple hopping into bed. But the moral of the story is the same either way - that's the end of romance. Forget romance. That's behind you.

Go for love. Don't just skip along the surface of love, like a flat stone on a shallow lake. Swim in the deep end. Give us a real marriage to look at. We need it. Don't play the role of husband and wife. This is real. Draw on each other's strength and work and play and worship together. Don't settle for anything less. Give us a real marriage. God knows our society needs a few.

Do you guys realise that you only need two pieces of furniture to have a marriage - a bed and a table?

Everything else is optional. You don't need a TV or a stereo or a Lazy Boy recliner. But you do need a Bed and a Table. A place to eat together and a place to sleep together, whatever else you may do. Those are the places of communion in a marriage, where the liturgy of marriage goes on, where husband and wife commune with each other, where the marriage really takes place.

When couples come to me for a tune up because their marriage doesn't seem to be getting the mileage it used to, I've learned to ask two simple diagnostic questions: Do you eat together? Do you go to bed at the same time, presumably to the same bed? And the answer is usually no. Or hardly ever. No communion. It's like a Christian who never prays, never sings a hymn to Christ, never shows up at Jesus' table except for Christmas and Easter. In the military they call it AWOL. Don't go AWOL on your marriage. Tend to your Bed and your Table. Eat together. Pray together. Sleep together. Talk. Commune.

You'll notice the words communication and communion have the same root. Most marriages don't need more communication. Often when couples communicate more, they discover how much they truly dislike each other. Marriages don't need communication, they need communion. The best marriage talk is pillow talk and table talk. So guard your Bed and your Board like a hawk. Don't let anything or anyone interfere."


Hearing such fundamental language expressed in this marriage ceremony was such a refreshing experience for me.



 10 
 on: May 12, 2010, 04:38:29 PM 
Started by Serenity - Last post by Serenity
Hello all.

It's been a while since I've posted anything. Well, I think it's high time I gave you all a reminder of some romance.

Guys -

 - Take your wife on a spur of the moment evening walk out. I recommend a sunset walk, they're so beautiful to look at.

 - Surprise her with something unexpected. For some that may be coming home early, flowers, bringing home the groceries, you know your wives, think on it and see what you come up with.

 - A spur of the moment picnic (weather permitting) I know I'd love that.  Wink

 - Taking her out to the mall (OK I think my fantasies are leaking in here  Cheesy)

 - Sing in the shower, or anywhere, as loudly as you can about her so that she can hear you.  : Grin


Girls  Wink

 - Leave a sexy article of your clothing around so he'll find it.

 - Little love notes are always so cute, it'll bring a smile to his face at the very least.

 - Watching a romantic movie with him wearing his favorite outfit that he likes to see on you.

 - Playing innocent....about anything Wink I do it all the time, he knows I'm not.....'innocent.' So I pretend to be innocent and that makes him laugh, in turn it also makes him......well, you know Wink

 - Leave him sexy voice messages.....unless he works for the FBI or something Cheesy

 - A massage always relaxes my husband, try one of those on your man after a long day's work.



Alright, all these ideas are getting me motivated, so if you'll excuse me......... Grin


See you soon Wink

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