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Bill Quinn
Romantic Marriage Stories
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Author Topic: Emotional Needs & Desires  (Read 7004 times)
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« on: August 02, 2010, 10:18:55 PM »

I revisited the 'Premarital Counseling' story to view the manner in which Lauri & Terry addressed the subject of emotional needs and desires in that story's setting.

As a man I identify strongly with the concept of a 'Love Bank' into which a married couple make deposits.

When a couple marry, they both promise to care for each other. But they have to learn to care for each other the right way, or that love for each other has the potential to diminish.
To care for each other the right way, they must learn to make large 'Love Bank' deposits through to meeting each other's most important emotional needs and desires.
This is an aspect that I felt is missing from that 'Premarital Counseling' story... a comment about emotional needs... and the fact that these needs are seldom created equally.

When some needs are met, one may only feel comfortable.. they make small 'Love Bank' deposits. There are others, however, that can make one feel euphoric... being the largest 'Love Bank' deposits of all.

Emotional needs could be: love; respect; trust; commitment; admiration; affection; companionship; honesty and openness; meaningful conversation; household support; financial support; empathy; sexual fulfillment.
Everyone is unique. The hierarchy of a woman's emotional needs and desires will likely be the reverse of her husband's emotional needs.

A man and a woman embark on married life with the expectation that their emotional needs and desires will be met throughout that marriage.
Therefore it is important for each individual to identify the hierarchy of his/her partner's emotional needs and desires from the outset of their relationship. Once those needs and desires are identified, he/she can set about the task of learning how to meet those requirements.... how to make the largest deposits possible into that marriage's 'Love Bank'.

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